In the Mourning: “At What Cost,” future projects, and more
It’s safe to say that music has healing properties and the ability to make us feel ALL the feels. Amanda Tran of In The Mourning proves just that. Born in Seattle and currently residing in Los Angeles, Tran opens up about channeling her emotions into song and the creation of her band.
Abby Martinez: Tell me about the origins of your music career.
Amanda Tran: I started writing music probably around 13 or 14 years old. I had joined a band. I was the keyboard player and the background singer. Our very first band practice, the band leader, who is the bass player, was like “We need a song.” And I literally wrote a song. We performed it live every time we did a live show and the lead singer would sing the song that I wrote. Then a year or so passed, and it feels weird to have somebody else sing words that are so personal to me. So I started my own band in high school. And we're very much like pop punk, inspired by Paramore. One of my biggest influences.
I definitely grew up singing a lot, watching Barney and Friends and all the Disney sing-alongs. I was always a band geek. Played clarinet, tenor saxophone, I was in marching band, I was in drumline, and also played the quads. Being involved through music was just the best time for me because I was surrounded by other people who enjoyed making music. Fast forward, in college all of our members went to different schools. So I continued doing solo music. I was in acapella in college and professionally so if you've seen Pitch Perfect, that is a very romanticized version of what it is. But being in acapella, made me a way more aware singer.
I'm originally from Seattle, Washington area, but I've been in LA for the past three years now. I moved out here and I was like, “I can stay in music.” I started managing and I realized I don't like the business side of this. But with that, I started producing music videos for the artists I've been working with instead of managing them. I've had the opportunity to do (I have a spreadsheet for this) but I think it's over 60 music videos in the past two years, which is actually crazy now that I say that out loud. Because of the pandemic, I was just like “Why am I putting myself on the back burner when I know this is what I love and what I want to be doing.” And so that was how In The Mourning was born, very much like a culmination of my love for singing for songwriting. It's very pop driven. There's a huge rock element underneath it. And that's what I love the most, being able to see the saddest heartbreak emo girl songs but then mask it with a really fun, upbeat Disney Channel, Hannah Montana, Freaky Friday energy. So I just love that juxtaposition. It's been so fun, and the reception has been so great.
AM: What are some differences that you see between the artist that you were before versus now? Has your creative process changed?
AT: In terms of me being a songwriter, my method of songwriting has been the same my entire life. I'm a very empathic person, I very much feel other people's feelings for them. And then my own feelings are very heightened, because of that. I'm able to elicit those really strong feelings, my way of expressing and getting relief from that is writing about it. Every single one of my songs is based on a real life situation. It's so intense when I'm in the moment because I'll write it while I'm feeling it. So that I can really capture that raw, authentic feeling and thought process that I'm having. It's also very therapeutic for me because I can go back and be like, “Okay, why did I feel this way? How did these feelings affect me or what elicited these feelings?”
In this current moment of my journey as an artist, I only feel comfortable and authentic and true to myself if I'm singing something that was written by me so everything that you've ever heard from In The Mourning, Amanda Tran or A-Tran, it's been solely written by me. Then when I'm ready, I'll bring the song and the lyrics to the producers or the band members that I'm working with and we'll work to create that soundscape. Basically, I'm a very cathartic singer, writer, songwriter. And I think people relate to the songs because everyone has gone through heartbreak at some point in their life whether that's romantic, with a family member or a friendship, there's always some kind of heartbreak in different parts of your life.
Amanda about being a music journalist when she was younger.
I have my own blog. But I also wrote for a bigger Seattle music area website blog. And so that helped me get into more shows. I got to go into bigger shows and got to interview a lot of my favorite local bands. So all that to say if you're if you're listening or reading this, shoot your shot respectfully.
AM: How did the name In The Mourning come about?
AT: It's an ode to my songwriting style, because I described myself as being a cathartic writer, which means for me like I'm writing in the most intense moments of the feeling that I'm experiencing.
And so In The Mourning, I'm doing the songwriting while I'm mourning.
It's also a double meeting because surprise surprise, my favorite band is Paramore. If they are listening...Hayley, Zac, Taylor, love you guys so much. One of my favorite songs is called “In The Mourning”.
AM: You often describe your music as cathartic! What are some songs that make you feel cathartic?
AT: One of my favorite songwriters is Rachael Yamagata. And I've been listening to her since in middle school. She's one of the most incredible singer songwriters and she's part Japanese. And so that whole combo was just like, “oh my god, somebody asian is writing songs. So cool!” But she's just very much like a sad girl, very cathartic, very introspective. She has a song called “You Won't Let Me” so if you're sad out there, look it up. I think on the flip side of that. Paramore has this song called “(One of Those) Crazy Girls”. It has a comedic air to the song, but I think a lot of people can relate to it when you're like wanting to be with someone but don't want to come off as insane. So it's like the two opposite ends of the spectrum. It's like super sad somber but then there's like the other sad, crazy side of it. Another big songwriter that I look up to is Julia Michaels. There's a song called “Don't wanna think”. It's literally the saddest thing ever.
“At What Cost” music video directed by Kelly Mason
AM: Do you typically write by yourself or do you have a creative team you work with?
AT: Yeah, for the songs, I write everything by myself. I have done a couple co-write sessions. It's really cool to collaborate with other people. I think for now, I'm going to continue writing everything myself.
Amanda about her experiences as a female Asian-American within the music scene.
It's just mind boggling to me, that's something that I could write and sing would resonate with someone. So it's been very cool and very rewarding. Especially seeing females because growing up in this particular music scene, I was always the only female on these bills for these shows. Always the only female taking photos of these bands at festivals, the only female interviewing these bands, the only female in production. That's not the case anymore. And it's incredible. Female representation but also people of color, just seeing people of all types across the board in the industry...specifically, Asian-American women because I feel like we talk about the Asian-American experience, but a lot of times the Southeast Asians are not really a part of that dialogue. And it's really annoying. I never saw anyone that looked like me, especially in the industry, but specifically in the alternative scene. There was never anyone and it's different now. I'm very happy that I get to be a part of this “new wave” in the scene.
AM: Lastly, what are your goals for your music?
AT: I make music that I want to make and that I enjoy. The second goal is that people who like that kind of music, get to hear it. And I think, regardless of whether it's the type of music that they like, or decide they don't like, I think it's really important that I just keep doing it. Because, like I said before, growing up I didn't really have that. Just like imagining myself as a 12 year old kid just turning on Instagram, Twitter, whatever they're using and seeing an asian girl doing that...seeing it as believing it. Seeing someone do something that they want to be doing is inspiring in itself, whether or not you want to be in music, whether or not you want to be in some completely different field or industry. And I feel like I need to keep doing it for myself, and my younger self, but also just your generation. To let them know that they can do whatever the fuck they want. Another goal is I want to go on tour, and we're trying to make that happen soon.
AM: Do you have any future projects?
AT: Yes. I'm always writing. I'm putting music out now constantly and more intentionally. So we do have new music coming soon. I cannot tell you what it is or when it's coming out. But definitely check out “At What Cost”. I just put out “At What Cost Deluxe,” which features a remake and an acoustic version, which is my favorite because it's way more sad. There's an instrumental on there. I love karaoke and I feel like most of your readers here probably like it too. So you can practice the songs when you come to the show. You'll know every part. And last on the deluxe version is a cover of “Complicated,” by the one and only Avril Lavigne.
Check out In The Mourning:
https://linktr.ee/inthemourningla
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